It's All Me
by Demonic Barbie Doll
Summary: just read it! plzzzz! NS WARNING! SUICIDE!
1. Lost

I feel so alone and unwanted like know one will ever want me. I think of only one way out.

  


I sit on my bed with a pen in hand and a letter of good-byes. They need to know the reason for this. They need to know that this is not there fault. It's all me and I'm all wrong for this world. I need to conquer my own demons, and now I am.

  


Tears splash onto the paper as I write the last line ::

  


_Nick I love you, more then you'll ever know. I wish that we could have been something more. But now it's to late, I hope that you can go on with out me. Just remember never look back._

  


_Sara Sidle_

  


I fold the letter and carry it into my bathroom. The knife I take up and slice a cut onto my wrist. The blood pours out and colors the floor. The pain is something that I did not think of. But this will all be over soon.


	2. Found

A/N muahahahaha! Theres only one more chapter afta this. And just so yall kno I wrote this whole shori in math class.

  
  


Chapter 2

  


NICK'S POV

  


Something is wrong and I don't know what. But I am suddenly getting this nasty empty, pit feeling in my stomach. I ignore this queasy feeling, then decide to drive, no where in particular.

  


I found myself standing on Sara's apartment door. Whatever motive that brought me here is beyond me. I knock on the door and it's slightly ajar. AT first I didn't want to enter, this is Sara. She wouldn't want for me to get into her stuff, but this nagging feeling inside of me, tells me different. I walk into the small apartment and find everything inside reminds me of Sara. It's simple. I call her name into the apartment but I hear nothing. I turn and look down the hall and see her bedroom at the end of the hall. I peak into her room and find no one in it. I call her name again and still no answer. I turn around and see the bathroom door open. I look inside and there she is.

  


Laying in a pile of blood from her wrist and the other clutching a piece of paper. I bend down to the floor and see a knife by her side. I felt a tear silently run down my face, and I didn't stop it. Her chest started rising ever so slightly. She's still alive.

  


I take a bandage from her medicine cabinet and wrap her limp wrist. I then dampen her face with some cold water and notice her eyes, she had cried. Tear stained and all with a little black eyeliner that she sometimes wore was now on her porcelain white face. She cried, she never cried or showed any emotion and if she did it was lots of emotion at one time. Her smile could lighten up anyone's day. And now she's gone and tried this.

  


I carry her out back to her bedroom lay her in her bed. I finally take what was clutched in her hand and leave it unopened. This is her note to the world. She didn't need to write anything.

I go down onto my knees and kneel by her bed.

All of this sight   
I can't believe I couldn't see   
Kept in the dark   
but you were there in front of me   
  
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.   
I've got to open my eyes to everything.   
  
Without a thought   
Without a voice   
Without a soul [Evanescence, Bring Me To Life]


	3. Together

Chapter 3

  
  


Sara's POV

  


I thought that when you die you see a bright light at the end of the tunnel. Well then how come I see Nick? Maybe I'm seeing people before I die instead. I look down and realize, I'm in my room. Nick is sleeping while holding my hand. He twitches ever so slightly, then his eyes flicker open.

  


'Welcome back Sara.' He smiled at me.

  


'I'm not dead.' I mumble then sigh back into my bed.

  


'Your alive, now you want this back?' He hands me my note that I wrote for him. It hasn't been open.

  


'You didn't read it.'

  


'Your still alive, that's a suicide note. You didn't commit suicide so there's no reason to read it.'

  


'Did you tell anyone?'

  


'No, not yet.'

  


'Because I don't want for you to be hooked up to any machines or being looked at my shrinks. I called Grissom and told him that your taking some personal time off. He undrestood.'

  


'Then why are you still here?'

  


'Because I care about you Sar, you know that.' Nick cupped my face and started caressing my cheek with his thumb.

  


I looked up at him and saw sadness in his eyes. Such a sadness that made me start to cry silent tears, 'Dammit.' I bit down on my lower lip to make it all stop.

  


'O honey.' Nick continued to hold my hand. I swapped his hand away not letting him touch me.

  


'Don't do that.'

  


'Do what?' He asked me quietly.

  


'THIS! Making me feel like you care about me when you really don't.' More tears came to my eyes.

  


'I do care about you. If I didn't, then I wouldn't be here.'

  


'Then why are you still here?' I snapped at him.

  


'Because I want to be.' Nick sat upon my bed and wiped my tears with his thumb.

  


'Don't hurt me anymore.' I half pleaded, half whispered.

  


'I won't, we'll take it slow. If you let me.'

  


'I will.' I whispered before I put my arms around him. I had my head resting on his shoulder with tears still running down my face. Nick had his hands tangled in my hair holding me close. I started to laugh, while I was still crying, realizing that his shirt was now wet.

  


'What's so funny?'

  


'I got you shirt all wet.' I lifted my head and placed my hand where my hand had just been a couple seconds ago.

  


'Doesn't matter, I have other shirts.' Nick put one of his hands on mine.

  


'Not here you don't.'

  


'Then I'll just have to take my shirt off.' Nick looked at me, 'To wash later.'

  


'And until then?'

  


'I get no shirt.' Nick took off his shirt and I played my hands across his well sculpted chest. 'You should get some more sleep, you lost a lot of blood so your going to have to take it easy for a while.'

  


'Sleep with me?'

  


'I thought we were taking this slow.' Nick laughed.

  


'No Nick, just sleep.' I smiled at him. Nick went to the other side of the bed and slipped underneath the covers. I crawled up next to him and put my head onto his chest. Your bodies molded together, then soon sleep found me.

  
  


The End


End file.
